Squid Moment #155

St. Patrick's Day was yesterday. I spent it with Seth mostly, and I have to say it was one of the best St. Patrick's Days I've ever had. We went out to lunch with his mom. We stopped by an antique store that had lots of Black Americana art! Agh. My heart couldn't contain itself. I'm going to go back one of these days and buy it all.

Chris French came over. We ate some corned beef, cabbage, and potatoes. Yum. Then we ventured off to McGuire's Irish Pub which was paaacked. We drank lots of beer courtesy of Seth's padre, and then we came back here where they played God of War III, and I got my Blazing Star and music on. I drank lots more, I talked to Seth & Ian for a while when Chris left. Then I don't remember too much after that except puking and crawling in bed. Blech. I'm totally hungover today as result.

Now I'm bumming at Seth's house while everyone is out being responsible and working or in class. Hmph.

I gotta admit it somewhere besides to his face... But I'm TOTALLYYYYYY head over heels for Seth. One of these days, I'm going to just explode with all sorts of adjectives, nouns, verbs, and maybe even adverbs to describe the way he makes me feel. I feel like he's pieced my heart back together, comrades. I want no one else.

I've come to realize that when you really, really genuinely like someone and want him, you try your damndest to push out any negativity you feel towards yourself for the sake of him. Sure, my past relationships have turned out that I'm the one who hurts the other person in the end, but Josh was right. If I keep thinking that I'm an awful person then I will be an awful person. I don't want to think that way with Seth, and I DON'T think that way with Seth because I'm going to do everything in my power to make him happy & not hurt him.

"I won't care for you
Like I'm really supposed to
There are things I'll do
That could really hurt you": I used to sing those words so loudly when I'd be around a guy that I liked but knew I wouldn't like him in the near future. Seth does not pop in my head when I sing those lyrics. Thank God.