Wednesday, July 15, 2009

You Leave a Bad Taste In My Mouth

Everytime that I'm in the library here on campus - I see this short, old Mexican walk by. He looks creepy and scary. It's enough to make me not want to come here anymore. He doesn't carry any books, no bag, nothing. He just walks around in his cowboy boots, a tucked in, plaid long-sleeve, and dark jeans. He's always just walking around. I never see him sitting down anywhere or looking at any books. Ugh... It's a sickening feeling. I'm not trying to be full of myself here, but I'm afraid I'd be in the wrong if I said he thinks I look like a red-headed ogre & he wants NOTHING to do with me.

I'm a little cloudy on what we're supposed to have done for tomorrow's class. My teacher was going to give us a quiz on something we hadn't learned yet until I e-mailed him after class. Then he mentioned something about changing the homework? I have no idea what he's talking about. I might as well just pretend the e-mail is not there.

My days have become routine. I'm talking the exact definition. I have peeing down to a specific time in the day. I'm sure the librarians think I have no life other than to come here, study for hours, use their bathroom, and hog the huge tables all to myself. The point is, when I thought of this today - it kind of depressed me. My days are the antithesis of spontaneity. How boring and depressing.

My mind's comfort has been easily, EASILY interrupted these past couple of days. I feel very upset and pissed off. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed with distaste that it makes me want to vomit and then fall asleep in my own expulsions. It's a little frightening I've gotten to that point where that small scenario sounds... kind of nice. Maybe I'm just tired. Or maybe my logic, senses, and my intuition are telling me that something is wrong. I believe in those "gut feelings", you know. I've always kind of ignored my gut instincts, but I have a feeling that these little guys in my stomach aren't taking "No" for an answer this time.

Bah. To Hell with it.

PS: OH YEAH, I MADE A 100 ON MY MATH TEST.

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