Last night I had another dream that Noe cheated on me, and it really upset me. I woke up with a tear in my eye and my stomach in knots. I don't know why I keep dreaming about him cheating on me when it's been 6 months that I've been gone. Ugh... I feel like we're still connected. I feel like I'm still attached to him in another world; another dimension; another plane. I feel like my dream conscience is still with him. It's exhausting.
In the dream when I caught him cheating, he started crying and begging me to forgive him. I could tell he truly felt terrible about it. When he showed me how terrible he felt, I could tell he really loved me. It broke my heart.
Nobody will ever understand me and him. Nobody will ever understand the kind of relationship we had. It doesn't matter what I tell people, good or bad, about us... They will simply. Never. Get it. I have no doubt that I loved him, and I'm beginning to think that a significant part of me still does love him. And maybe I'll always love him and think about him until the day I die. I don't know. And if you're reading this, and you're a boyfriend or a husband from the future - I'm sorry. I'll stop here.
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