Finally... Some Honest Emotions

Last night, Josh and I talked on the phone, and he finally had enough when I said we wouldn't be together again. We went back and forth for a little bit, but eventually we both went down for the count, and decided that would be it. I put my phone on silent, went to sleep, and I woke up this morning to the following note Josh had written and posted on Facebook. Enjoy. This is probably the best anyone will ever describe me. Oh, wait... Was that self-loathing? Shit. I gotta work on this.

"Alright so I never do these notes so here it goes. You used me to get over all your mistakes that you made in the past couples years. Once you realized you didn't need me anymore you threw me to the side.You say you don't need other people but you use them like you do. You told me that you thought you were a bad person because of how you feel on the inside but I saw all these good deeds and how nice you are to people around you and I would tell you you were a good person. When I finally got to know you and the real person you are which I hope everyone will eventually do then they will realize as I did that you truly are a bad person and a vile piece of shit. I told you that I came to realize you were a bad person and you whimpered like a fucking baby. You said that you knew one day I would realize how horrible you were. You pity yourself so much that it is pathetic. Everything that has happened between us and my realization that you are fucked up in the head was all your doing. You told me when we first started talking that you were going to disappoint me but I didn't believe you at all. Now I wish I had listened to your little 'self loathing' warning. You are the greatest disappoint I have ever had and you will always disappoint the people around you until you stop making true all your little predictions. I have so much pity for someone as decayed as you. You told me that you truly loved me and that you hoped we would be married. I believed all your lies. In the end they were just words you would say in the moment to make yourself feel better about yourself. You would always talk about all the beautiful things in the world and how you wish you could get lost in them (the ocean mainly). How could someone as horrible and ugly as you see any beauty in the world? The worst part about it is that most of the horrible qualities you have I also have. The only difference is that I accept them and try to change them. You give in and buckle under all your little imperfections and act sorry for yourself but you are the only person that can change them. So instead of having all this self pity and feeling sorry for yourself because of how 'fucked up' you feel why don't you grow up and changed yourself and who you are. You always talk about that you want to change yourself ad that will be the first step.

she spread herself wide open to let the insects in
she leaves a trail of honey to show me where she's been
she has the blood of reptile just underneath her skin
seeds from a thousand others drip down from within
oh my beautiful liar
oh my precious whore
my disease my infection
I am so impure
devils speak of the ways in which she'll manifest
angels bleed from the tainted touch of my caress
need to contaminate to alleviate this loneliness
I now know the depths I reach are limitless
oh my beautiful liar
oh my precious whore
my disease my infection
I am so impure
REPTILE-NINE INCH NAILS"