Some People Wake Up Feeling Happy After a Nap

I've been going through some radical changes of the mind lately. Now... if I'll act upon these changes or not, I don't know, but it's been fun writing and reading about it all. I'm not so sure if my life has been meant to flow up to this point. Why try making it start to flow the "normal" way now?

I want to live in all sorts of places. I want to visit quite a few places as well. I've been tickling the thought of putting off school for a while until I figure out what it is I want to really do. Yes, I understand college is important if I want to live comfortably, but you have to understand that some of us people out there have an itch that we NEED to scratch. My soul is leaning towards fulfilling other things besides what's socially normal and acceptable. If I end up homeless and starving, then all of you can poke at my cold body with a cane made up of comfort and say, "I told you so."

My nights & days consist of personal red-light districts (minus the immorality, to an extent), cephalopods, the elderly, alcohol, and work. I cross the perforated lines. I bite my cuticles. I twirl a piece of hair in my fingers while deciding if a customer wants hashbrowns or grits with their 2 egg breakfast. I usually forget to ask.

Certain things & people are haunting my dreams, and I'm waking up frustrated as hell. I suppose I'm still not over Noe, and I'm still not over Arizona. I've also added the likings of a certain human to my mind, but things working out with that are near impossible if not completely.

If I could, I'd swim in the ocean again right now. I'd never swam in the ocean at night, and the only way I could was if I was drinking. Annnnnd that's exactly the state of mind and body I was in when I did. I remember the water feeling cold, everything around me was black, and when I'd float on my back it seemed as if I could see all across the universe - looking at stars that probably don't even exist now and have long ago died while also looking at the blank spots in the sky where new stars could be without any of us knowing.

There are all sorts of things that occur out of our vision's reach. I feel it's my duty to go with what I feel is right for my own well-being of the moment. My future is not within my vision's reach. Nobody's future is within his or her sight, but we still live every day as if we know the future is and will be there.

Ease your feet off in the sea.