[?????????] HUH

I am beyond amazed.

I was sitting outside in the garage when my parents came out to smoke. I started to get up, while holding my laptop and phone, to let my dad sit in the chair I was in. My mother was already sitting in her chair puffing away. While I was in the middle of un-reclining (?) the chair, my dad fell as he was taking a step down from the doorway into the garage. He broke his fall on the little trashcan that sits by the door and knocked a few tools over. He was obviously crushing it, but it was still staying sturdy.

I started to rush to help him up when my mom got out of her chair (still taking drags off of her cigarette). I figured she was going to help him up. Instead, she snapped out, "You're gonna break the trashcan!" My dad and I were astounded. There he was, obviously unable to get up himself, and she was complaining about him breaking the trashcan. I yelled at her to help him up, and she still just stood there puffing away on her cigarette. Then my dad had it, and he slammed his cane on the ground and yelled at her to put down her damned cigarette and help him up. I couldn't help but stare at them, mainly my mother, in disbelief.

This has added onto my frustration with my mother. She doesn't seem to understand that my father has grown old. Even though she may be able to function on her own, and she may be able to walk without feeling any pain - she doesn't get that my dad is not that way anymore. Whatever it is that's wrong with him, she shouldn't hold it against him. I feel that she does exactly this. I mean, I do get a little annoyed when my dad is asking me to get him one thing after another so that he doesn't have to make any special trips to the kitchen or something, but I keep it to myself and I try not to come off as being annoyed. I know that he can't help it, and I don't want him to feel bad about something that is somewhat out of his control. Now, I have a good feeling that it's not completely out of his control. He gets way too much sleep, he has a poor diet, and he smokes like a chimney. He ideally could change those things, but my old man is set in his ways. I've come to accept that.

Now. My mother on the other hand, she has NO PROBLEM making it clear to him that she's annoyed with him asking so many things of her. I could list all the things that she does, but I'd rather not. This upsets me though. My mom doesn't seem to find joy in anything except television, the birds that she feeds outside, sleeping, and spending money. Of course, she finds joy in other things but those seem to be the ones that stand out... Because that's what she drowns herself in all the time. I didn't even include smoking on the list because it's probably not a joy to her - just an automatic thing to do now.

Anyway, I just feel sad about it all. Today was a beautiful day, and I wanted my mom and I to go do something that included being outdoors, and she denied. She continued watching her show and then layed down to take a nap by the time I left to go do things by myself.

That's the way it goes, I suppose.