So Long, Lonesome

Well, I started my period yesterday. This explains my irrational anger, sadness, sleepyness, and overall... irrationality. It could very well explain why I've been having such depressing dreams lately, too.

Last night I dreamt that I was back in Tucson living in the "West Side Barrio Sovaco" again. I was on the bus with Noe, and there was this girl who he had known from high school or something. Out of nowhere, he put his arms around her and she was cuddling with him. I moved to another seat to see if he'd follow me, and he didn't. I got really upset, and I got off the bus prematurely. I remember running through woods and checking behind me to see if he was looking for/following me. After the sun went down, I heard him calling my name and running. I ducked behind trees and crouched in bushes. When I got a look at his face, it was oddly enough my ex-boyfriend from high school, Danny. He turned away for a second, and I bolted into someone's backyard - hopping over their fence. He saw me and was on my trail now. I ran fast enough so that I could reach a Target store. I ran inside and found some old man to give me a ride somewhere. He told me I'd have to talk to his young granddaughter about getting a ride. By the time I got to his granddaughter who was waiting in the car outside, Noe (changed faces again) was jogging through the Target parking lot looking for me. He'd go up to people asking if they had seen me and would dart away cursing after they didn't know who he was talking about.

I think at one point, he started crying and yelling out my name. I felt bad. But I remembered how he had his arms around that girl on the bus and the way he ignored me when I moved seats. So, I got into the girl's car, and I sank down so that he wouldn't see us drive by. We got to a red light, and he wandered over to the cars sitting there. He briefly looked inside the cars at the people, and when he walked up to our car - he didn't see me at first but when he leaned in the rolled down window to ask the girl if she had seen me, he saw me. I got out of the car and started yelling at him. While I was yelling and crying, the faces often switched from Noe to Danny. It ultimately ended with Noe's face, I guess. I can't remember anything else that happened after he tried explaining why he did what he did.

BLAH. It put me in a sad mood for the day again.

I have to go on though. Can't have too much of this sad business. I feel worse than I did when I first got here.

I swear: I'll cheer up, and I'll write a happy, little post soon.