The Intermission

Did living in Arizona have that much of a negative effect on me? Sure, I learned quite a few things, but I believe my sister was right when she said my soul was being torn apart. I am apathetic, and I find it hard to truly care about most of the important duties in my life. There are only a few cares that I'm handling with tedious fingers. But my fingers are clumsy, and I'm starting to worry.

I'm fucking tired of feeling this way. Redundancy is wearing me down to the raw bone.

It's time for change, comrades. And by comrades, I mean myself. I moved to Florida to figure out who I am & to be closer to my family. I suppose I've figured out who I am, alright. I'm lazy, obsessive, indulgent, and clueless.

This concludes part one, and now it's time for part two: Working to better myself now that I've figured out what I'm like when nobody is around to tell me what to do. I don't have Noe's parents waking up at 5:00am every morning expecting everyone else to wake up and cook breakfast. I don't have Noe nagging me to do our laundry and to work in the yard while he goes to day labor. I have nobody to shove a boot up my ass and get me to do something. I hated it at the time, but now maybe it wasn't such a bad idea. This is what I wanted though. I have to accept it. I don't know where to go from here or how.

This intermission of Arizona to Florida is lasting a lot longer than what I expected.

I think I'll delete this later.